Hi lovelies,

Will be sharing some more thoughts on relationships and what some if not most of us face in them, everyone can agree that relationships are hard work and so whenever one decides to get into one it is best to get into it with someone you’re sure off and making the right decision at the time rather than have doubts about it before anything has even started and still go into it.


When you’re in a relationship with someone you want to be able to look at that person and be happy and proud of the person you are with.. They are to be a positive representation of you. That is why when you wait on God to give you the best that feeling will not go away because the person was handpicked by God for you and only you.. No two people are the same but you can complement each other’s differences..



We cannot change people.. All we can do is pray that God touches their hearts and helps them change for the better. So if someone you like or love is not acting in a way that is befitting as a Christian woman or Christian man it is not up to us to change them, because that will simply not work the best way is to pray over them and hope and believe along with keeping a good, healthy distance away from them, but still praying for God to touch their hearts and lives.

You can try to guide someone by helping them see why what they’re doing is wrong but really ONLY God can really change us not man or woman.. We are just there to support and do the above, but to enforce change on someone is really something we cannot do rather that person should want to change first and God will help them reform their character..


With myself for example I don’t like to go clubbing 24 years of age now, only been to a club three times and made sure I’d never go again I really disliked those experiences, the scene and experience showed me the downside to people after they drink and get a bit too excited.. I don’t drink alcohol and don’t ever plan to try it and so it’s only normal that I would prefer to be with someone who like me doesn’t like clubbing or drinking. But that seems like a myth in a sense that some if not most people around drink and like to go clubbing. But me personally such things are not me, each to their own taste…

With trying to change someone the examples below come to mind:

ØTrying to get them to stop clubbing

ØTrying to get them to stop smoking

ØTrying to get them to stop swearing

ØTrying to get them to show more respect

ØTrying to get them to know God more/attend church more..

ØIf they have bad habits trying to get them to stop doing them too…

Just anything that is bad that you try to stop them from doing, but as stated before just because you want them to stop doing certain things doesn’t mean it’ll be easy for them to stop. Especially when they haven’t taken the step themselves to try to change, God’s intervention is needed in such cases nothing that can be handled by man or woman alone. This is a common action Christian woman and Christian men who have been involved with maybe say weaker Christian men and women have been known to try and do.

That again comes back to the point of remembering that until the person themselves says they want to change nothing successful will come out of you trying to change them because one it’s what YOU want to have changed in that person and two that person hasn’t fully stated they want to change those things about them and three God has to be the one to really change a person it is not our job to.


Vice versa the same applies to men too, finding the right Woman of God as it works both ways.



When something goes wrong in relationships we tend to try to make the other understand either why we didn’t like it or why we believe the other is in the wrong. But how we go about bringing our feelings across can at times do more damage than good which we may not realise until after its been done. Destructive emotions can have a LASTING effect on both you and the other person. So rather than handling the matter whatever it may be, in a bad way by saying anything that comes to your mind must try to use self restraint to deal with it in a much better way. Don’t be fast to react to the situations that come your ways but learn to first respond to them. There may not be a huge difference in that but it does bring about some difference to how you react and deal with things.


‘Psalm 27: 13-14 I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord; to be of good courage, and He shall strengthen thine heart; wait I say, on the Lord…’

What this says to me is that rather than make hasty decisions which may not end well, lean on God and keep Him as your main focus to help make better decisions to handle things the right way and not the wrong way. This can leave long lasting results from a simple heated action, which could have been easily avoided.


At times waiting on God can be difficult, but before any other decision it is the best way to handle anything. What is probably easier at the time will be to lose focus and lose your cool. Consequently what some of us do not seem to realise is that by doing that we make long term decisions- whether knowingly or unknowingly- when really it is only a temporary situation. But one thing I can relate to when I hear this is that how we react to a person or situation that is only temporary can impact us permanently. So never be caught up in just thinking for that moment in time always look and think beyond that moment in time and how your actions may affect you later.


Sometimes it is better to step back from a situation calm down, remain quiet and just listen to the person, hear what they’re saying and don’t simply blurt out the first things that come to your mind. Try to refrain from using emotional reactions playing the victim whilst shifting the blame to other person involved, as mentioned before learn to see beyond that present moment. ‘The present catalyst, often a change or a loss, shall also pass. Change is ONLY CONSTANT, and we must make peace with it if we are to succeed in our relationships and decision making.



First of all everyone is different, no two people are the same, in relationships they require that we overcome our differences, the beauty of relationships with the man and woman is that the two of them are quite different but still work to find a common ground. We should balance each other by attracting people who are fairly opposite to us but can still find that unique common ground together. As the result of our differences and unique distinction, we complement each other.


But then as we can all agree those differences can also be challenging.. ‘In order to enjoy the beautiful union of diverse tendencies and ideals, we must learn to stand up to the pain of readjustment and the tendency to run away from the hard work of making things work out. Understanding only comes when you stand under a real desire to know, to love and to comprehend them, embracing the uniqueness of who they are… You have to be able to work together to make joint decisions that affect both of you and how to work within the boundaries of your reality together.



Jealousy… A bit of jealousy is a sane level to have but too much jealousy causes more problems than necessary. But on the flip side it can be said that with jealousy in a relationship can originate from insecurities and sometimes power too. With sensitive issues like this should be handled with discussion and understanding talking about your commitment to each other. Sometimes you can be soo lost in your own thought that you sometimes overlook having those important discussions to help each other face what is for the both of you and not just what one should handle alone.


Talk about what you don’t like the other person doing and how it makes you feel that really will help strengthen your relationship and that way nothing is hidden and everything is out in the open.. Treat them in a way you would expect them treat you without you having to say it, but showing it in your actions.


People tend to get jealous in relationships when they see their partner flirting with other girls or guys. Talk about the habits and mannerisms you interpret to be flirting, because let’s face it if their yours the last thing you want to see is them flirting and showing attention elsewhere, that is disrespectful to you and they should know better than to act in such way. They aren’t single and so should always take your feelings into consideration. Communicate it to them and do not allow the jealousy to turn into bitterness, anger, distrust and disgust.


In a relationship, what some people forget is that you can’t just think about yourself, it’s a partnership where two people help each other, support each other, communicate their feelings, grow and involve God in the decisions they make. They cannot be selfish and self centred because they’re not single and alone, they are taken and with someone. So it is important things have to be shared as a duo and not alone. If they cannot come to terms with such reasoning then really they have to think long and hard if a relationship at that moment in time is really right for them and do what is right the best way possible, if it isn’t right for them.


No one is a mind reader and relationships shouldn’t be treated anyhow, take into account that it is not just you and you should never enter a relationship if you have no intention on pursuing it further with dedication and work. All relationships from the moment they start must have 100% commitment and dedication to it and the other person, or else what is the point?? You’ll be wasting your time and the other person’s time if that is not what you have in mind to do.



Never assume about relationships always speak up and be heard, you have a right to expect much from it especially if you’re someone who is willing to give your all in a relationship, how it should be done really, because if you’re going into one half heartedly it won’t work. Do not allow surface appearances, quick to judge labels, fears of confrontation and laziness produce complacency. What we should do is evaluate the substance from which the relationship started and you may actually discover a true treasure, but if the relationship is going downhill and there isn’t much to it then really you need to assess whether it is one worth keeping. Most times we tend to fail to see the true potential that really is there and give up without trying.


Do not be afraid to speak up to correct a fault, or reject corrections given to you it can only help you and help things get better. Corrections made from a loving spirit, not self righteous as ‘the know it all person’, will more times than none be received well. Because once the other can sense that you are genuinely concerned for them and want a better, more understanding relationship and the best for them, they are more likely to consider not only what you have to say but how to try to meet you half way. Receive the correction and give it to those you love and want the best for and things will work out better.


Look for example at King David and his sinfulness2 Samuel 11-12’ not only does he seduce another man’s wife, but also murders her husband. His advisor Nathan told David a story about gross injustice to a poor man to get David to see far beyond his pride. This is a perfect example to show the love a friend has for another (same with two partners in a relationship also) to help him see his sinful ways and why they were wrong and to try to help him return to Gods ways ‘2Samuel 12:13’..


Very vital lesson to learn is that God will often use us in each other’s lives to help restore us to the rich, fruitful paths of destiny He preordained for us all. HONEST AND GENTLE REBUKES MOTIVATED BY LOVE INCREASES THE TRUST, FAITH AND COMMUNICATION BOTH TO THE GIVER AND RECEIVER.. ‘Hebrews 12:5-6 ….My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou at rebuked of him; for whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth..’


So with the relationships you have whether with your partner, work colleagues, family and friends.. Look at them closely to see which ones may need correction or even the people in those relationships.. In either case commit them to God’s ultimate purposes in order to restore the relationship to all that it is meant to be. 

Thanks for reading lovelies, stay blessed and pray for God to show you the right one.. Do not go down the wrong path because of impatient behaviour.. Great things take time..


Stay blessed..   

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