HEY LOVELIES,
SOCIAL MEDIA SITES….
ONLY GODS OPINION OF YOU SHOULD COUNT, NOT STRANGERS BEHIND A COMPUTER SCREEN WHO DONT KNOW THE INS AND OUTS ABOUT YOU!!!
Having read a blog post recently about social sites and with my own opinions, I would like to share my view on the effect it has mainly on women.. The social platform is not the same anymore if I’m honest, there are also new apps evolving by the minute (literally) but more and more people are joining meaning an even bigger audience…
WHEN I THINK ABOUT THE SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORMS IN RELATION TO SOME IF NOT MOST WOMEN, THESE ISSUES COME TO MIND….
v INSECURITIES
v BULLYING
v SELFISH DESIRES
v TO COVER UP PAIN
v PUBLICITY FOR A WHILE
v LOW SELF RESPECT/ DISCIPLINE
v REVEALING PICTURES ON SOCIAL SITES
v A SENSE OF BELONGING
v ATTENTION SEEKING..
v HATING ON OTHERS LOOKS
YOU MIGHT TRY TO ESCAPE FROM SUCH ISSUES BY USING SOCIAL SITES TO TRY TO NUMB THE PAIN, BUT IF YOU DO NOT FACE THEM HEAD ON YOULL ALWAYS BE WANTING TO COVER THEM UP AND THEY WILL GET WORSE BY THE DAY…
With these issues I have listed I am looking at the usage of social media from the point of view of women who use it for the wrong reasons. From what I have witnessed on social sites I can see why these women use them.. Now to the men reading this post maybe you will also learn something new about why these women use the sites in relation to how you interact with them too.
No one is perfect, everyone makes mistakes, some are not happy within, others crave for a sense of belonging, some are just negative to others and use what they know about others against them in a twisted way to make them feel better, some hate on looks. whereas others are comfortable with themselves and use social sites for reasons not listed above such as networking, work, keeping up to date with specific topics etc etc. But there are still that proportion of women who use it for the issues expressed above, women who maybe don’t love themselves fully, are in pain but don’t know how to express it, want to get a sense of belonging because in reality they feel alone and can’t relay to anyone around them (various reasons) will be the same women who will fall back on social sites for that temporary security and worth. I say worth and in some cases it is that extreme, women want to feel they are worthy, even though deep down they should know they are worthy and beautiful already but sometimes loose themselves and want to be told this (but don’t go about it in the right way), they rather lose their self worth and then don’t understand why guys do not respect them, it’s like a vicious cycle and only they can break it by changing their approach when interacting with others.
These are some of the reasons why guys do not respect females, they do not look deeply into things to try to at least understand why some females act the way they do. All they do is stereotype us all and place us all in the same category because of what they see. That should not be the case, if more women began to tackle underlying issues and act in a much better way online it would be a great start to a positive overall change towards females. Until then females will still be classed to be the same. We all go through different things no two reasons will be the same, same way we are all different and the good positive women cannot continue to account for what negative women do. Something guys need to understand and respect, if they do not feel certain women are carrying themselves well then simply stay clear or be prepared to handle what comes with it all.
On social sites there are many men and women who express themselves in different ways. For some if not most of them they’ll upload pictures for attention, those pictures will be seen and interest will be shown, that already will make the woman feel wanted and reciprocates the attention and over time through her pictures revealing a side to her which would keep men interested, she and the guy may use such to their advantage… But what they don’t see is the reason behind why she is portraying such images and coming across the way she does. BUT do not get me wrong on the other hand there are some women who thrive off male attention and moving easy, not to say all women should be seen and classed that way. But it simply shows that there are different kinds of women who do different things and act in good and bad ways…
Speaking to some guys and from what I see, when they’re on social sites they do get very carried away when they see women’s revealing/ naked pictures, it is able to grab their full attention more than a respectable woman who is dressed well (Lol most times it’s that deep), and once the picture has grabbed their attention they will then pursue a chance to talk to the woman whether for good reasons maybe so or most times for bad reasons but you get my drift.. But let me be blunt, most times it won’t be and I say this because when those pictures are up the woman has already lost herself respect by posting it up to a wide audience, losing the chance of being seen as a good partner. If a woman is able to put up revealing pictures of her body which should be hidden and treated like a temple of God, how then can she expect men treat her with respect?? She hasn’t shown herself any respect by uploading such pictures, it wouldn’t make sense?
On the flip side what they don’t realise is that there may be deeper issue in most cases as to those women behaving the way they do, attention seeking methods. A picture can say a lot about someone but if you reveal all, what are you leaving hidden for the guy to work to get and find out more about you?? But then again that links back to the deeper issues of the women craving attention, feeling wanted and covering the pain for those few moments of talking to others who show interest, whether genuine or not well each entitled to their opinions.
When a man shows real interest in a woman, and she is respectful of herself, as opposed to a man showing interest in a woman who doesn’t have any respect for herself.. How he approaches the two women will be very different and that to anyone will be obvious. You will always attract what you give out, its common sense really, it all starts from within and that is what is shown to outsiders.
A SOCIAL SITE WILL NOT DEFINE WHO YOU ARE, BEFORE IT CAME INTO EXISTENCE YOU ALREADY HAD YOUR LIFE AND WORRIES..
When people look at social sites, majority of the time they probably do not look at the sensitive side. No one knows what the people on social sites face behind closed doors, all you can see are the pictures and things they talk about to others, but the underlying issues are hidden, some are easily readable but others are hidden away from the public eye. Behind a front, they put on to act in a way that will make them feel good about themselves. But the social platforms such as INSTAGRAM, TWITTER, KEEK, FACETIME, SKYPE, KIK…. (Any social avenues to interact with others) should not be heavily relied upon for the comfort of ignoring what you’re going through.
Turn to God and someone you can trust to help you face what you are going through, because more times than none the social platform can have more of a disadvantage than a positive one. What you think you are looking for on there will not amount to all your worries and troubles going away. Some people on these sites are very negative and do pick on others to satisfy their selfish big headed behaviour and so it is not always wise to interact on them. There are also positive people too, but in this case the negative people will be referred to. To be very honest to use let’s say Twitter for example you have to have a strong backbone to face different kinds of people from all walks of life, different backgrounds, different colour etc. So what might be a concern to you is what others may make jokes out off and ‘attack’ people on.. Everyone is different, we all have different minds and different experiences, no two experiences will be the same. So do not expect others to see things and agree with you on how you view those things, it hardly happens that way.
Ill stress on it like I previously have done, if you are a woman who suffers from any of those issues, do not go on social sites to try to escape them. They will continue to be with you until you fully resolve them. Look at it another way the people you interact with online may never cross your path in reality, they do not know you very well apart from what you put out there for others to see. They can have their ‘banter’ and all on the sites and leave it to go about their daily lives. But you who are facing the issues will leave the sites and still have them, they won’t disappear. I guess what I’m trying to say is that the social medium should be the last resort to try to overcome deep rooted emotions.
PARTNERS AND SOCIAL SITES:
This has also become an issue lately and an area I can relate to as well, we are all grown and some if not most of you have children, long term partners, married, dating or whatever your situation may be. Now when you are with someone I’m sure you have those friends/ family members who want to know the ins and outs of the person you are with. Some may hold back on most details whereas others will be more than happy to tell others about the one in their lives. Everyone is different in how much information they want to share.
But with social sites, would you really be okay with your partner/ the one you’re dating or whatever form of relationship it may be being known by many? To me, I have a preference because I am not the clubbing/ drinking / bait type, more low key I would prefer for the one I was seeing to be low key too rather than being known on every if not most social platforms. Because they are exposing themselves to all kinds of people and these days to some whether you are in a relationship/ seeing someone they wouldn’t care to be honest. Once they don’t see who the other person is they will continue to try to get what they want. Now in some cases women and men may act single on sites and get caught up in talking to others, and then you get the loyal ones who regardless of who they talk to or where, they will always have that one person in mind guiding their thoughts and actions for how they should behave to be respectful to them.. Each to their own like they say..
I use this example and say to others I talk to about this, when you are with someone whose low key like you there will be no interference from outsiders, you both know what’s up and the outsiders will simply be trying to cause trouble. But because the two trust each other and know that once that is part of their foundation, everything others say will be irrelevant..
On the flipside if you are seeing someone who has a ‘reputation’ on social sites, what is to say that if he or she met all those people they wouldn’t try anything?? You can’t be too sure to be fair. It will also be like you’re walking down the road with them and all of a sudden there are tongues wagging and fingers pointing to your partner as the mad/funny/sexual one from the social sites. It may not be as bait as the pointing of fingers but enough for you to notice when the one you’re around is being spoken about. That has got to be hard on the person and not a nice feeling. That is why how you portray yourself in the media is very important because with things said people don’t usually forget a face and spoken, well words typed. You are leaving others with an opinion on you, some may judge some may stereotype either way what you give out will be commented on..
TO THOSE THIS CAN RELATE TO, WORK ON YOU MORE AND DO NOT RELY ON THE SOCIAL PLATFORMS, USE THEM WITH GOOD REASON IF YOU MUST… KNOW YOUR WORTH AND TRUST THAT YOU WILL GET THROUGH WHATEVER IT IS YOU MIGT BE FACING.. IT’S A PROCESS AND WONT CHANGE OVERNIGHT.
I’ll leave you all with one last thought, when you look at your ‘Online profile’ for all the social networks you are part off, can you say that you have a good clean profile, or a bad, sexual, easy profile which others will ‘look down on’. Remember you attract what you give out and opinions will always be made of such.
GOD BLESS
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EMPOWERED UNITED WOMEN MINISTRY 