This post will be about my view on peer pressure along with some other sensitive topics and a continuation from my previous post on the effects of social sites..
PEER PRESSURE AMONGST YOUNG PEOPLE AND AT TIMES OLDER PEOPLE TOO..(NO AGE LIMIT TO WHO IT HAPPENS TO).
To me peer pressure happens when a group of people or individuals to some extent exert force and pressure to someone who isn’t exactly vulnerable but can be easily influenced to change their behaviour, norms, values and attitude in how they do things. Peer pressure affects some if not most people in their lives, whether younger years or even a bit older in their late teens/ early twenties. Either way it can have a lasting effect on others both mentally and physically.
To people who suffer from peer pressure at times you will probably agree that some if not most of them will be too ashamed, embarrassed, torn, confused and low to come forward and say what is happening to them. Some sadly even turn suicidal and take their own lives because they cannot take it anymore and rather than work to try and overcome it with help. They simply end it all because they don’t feel hopeful that it will not only get sorted out but there will never be a repeat of such action. Because really one will ask can it ever be fully sorted? What is to say that the people who do such terrible things won’t try to beat the system by finding alternative means? To be cautioned and walk away may happen for some time but it may always have underlying issues. Peer pressure could involve issues such as:
Gang cultures/ Post code wars/ Set ups
A sense of status
There are various reasons, but the affect it has on those involved are not only long term but may also end in deaths as sad as it is. There are just some human beings who only know what it means to act bad and do bad things. In my opinion that could be because of their upbringing at home, what they’ve witnessed amongst older people and films they watch. All these things when seen over time tends to become normal behaviour to them growing up and when you try to teach them right from wrong they react and become worse than they once were.
Bullying is also another major issue that happens to young people, who are too afraid to come out and speak about it. With bullying until you have been bullied you cannot fully understand what the person is going through having to hide it, face it alone, even self harm. From what I have seen and come to understand those who bully feel they have a point to prove and a reputation to keep, sometimes shockingly enough the bullies also suffer issues and their way of dealing with it is to hurt others and really that is the only way they know how to maintain it. So if they were to back down will lose the ‘street credibility’ that has been established over time. Some who have been bullied do get the courage to speak out and defend themselves, whereas others keep it bottled in not realising that with the bullying that line of action makes it a hundred times worse because you are facing two battles one with those bullying them and the other battle within themselves of mixed emotions to say what is happening, methods to deal with it, self blame and low self esteem. It can cause severe damage which will take time and effort to try to rebuild how they once were.
These points I have raised are really sad and mind blowing to think that people can go through such and even with the organisations around to help them can still feel alone and continue going through the torture and pains others inflict on them. I do wish at times that the victims will get enough courage to step forward and speak out to help not only themselves but others on a wide scale who are also going through it. In our society there are soo many things which need to be addressed more, giving more help and guidance to those who are going through it.
TV/ TODAYS SOCIETY/ LABELLING/ STEREOTYPING/ COLOUR OF ONES SKIN…
One thing that does anger me about the media are certain programmes that highlight things such as gangs, stealing and bullying whether to students or even older people to be an okay thing to do, that many young people ‘take part in’ so they stereotype and judge in the roles they act. Programmes such as Eastenders and Waterloo Road; highlight:
First of all, I say they stereotype because you will notice that most times the gang roles are played by young BLACK people, who have either left college or school at a young age and do not know any better than to be in gangs of delinquent behaviour causing havoc to society. With some being young parents or were raised by single parents on benefits. It is like most of the roles for black people portray more negativity than positivity. BUT what the media do not seem to realise is that black people are all DIFFERENT, the only thing we all share in common are the fact that we are black. But delve deeper you will be able to see that black people are not ‘lost’ ‘dumb’ ‘Lack home training’ or are all single parents or live off benefits.
There are black people who have been raised well in nuclear families, some raised in single parent families yes but have still overcome the labels and made something great of themselves. Majority have been in education from as early as primary school to secondary school, college and onto further education to get their degree and are working now making a name for them. You see the ignorance to do with black people is soo shocking that the media are always quick to label us and place us all in a box of no good people in comparison to white people.
But what they should remember in most instances is that no matter how a black male or female was raised in their household that shouldn’t necessarily hold them back from achieving the best they can achieve for themselves. We all have our own minds and do things which suit us and make us happy, we are hardworking, no not all of us are young parents or live of benefits. No matter what the issue is labelling should never be acceptable and we don’t have to accept such.
Yes some black people will say but white people have it easy, and I will say no actually some of them don’t but that is not always portrayed in society maybe in acting roles. But to me they may have it easy but that is not enough reason for me to be held back because of the colour of my skin. God created me this way as a black African woman in a messed up judgemental society, but with Him all things are possible. The last thing I will ever do is be defeated and stay down because of the colour of my skin. Black people have to work twice as hard to get to where they want to be but remember Life is a challenge, everyday you face something new nobody said Life will be easy. Even more reason why you must prove to God and yourself that YES YOU CAN MAKE IT AND WILL MAKE IT…
WHY? BECAUSE GREATNESS DIDNT HAPPEN OVERNIGHT, THE SAME WAY ROME WASNT BUILT IN A DAY. Good things and great people, over time in a steady process make it and look back knowing they achieved something and so can YOU YES YOU.. YOU ARE NO DIFFERENT. So never back down because of how the media portrays use and the colour of your skin. Let all that be a pushing factor for you to work and get the best you can get knowing you made good use of the Life GOD gave you..
GOD SAYS YES U CAN DO IT, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE.. BUT SOCIETY WILL LABEL US ALL AND PLACE US IN A BOX FULL OF THE IMPOSSIBILITES THEY FEEL WE CANNOT ACHIEVE..
STEREOTYPES 4 BLACK MEN: STEREOTYPES 4 BLACK WOMEN:
DROPOUTS YOUNG MOTHERS
THUGS EASY/HOEISH BEHAVIOUR
WOMANIZERS GOLD DIGGERS
INTO GANGS LEAST SUCCESSFUL
LESS ROLE MODELS
So what about the black men and women who are hardworking, successful, have diplomas and degrees, never been in trouble with the law, aren’t clubbers, don’t drink or cause trouble, aren’t young parents etc etc… We seem to be overshadowed by the ones who do wrong.. sad.
THE ‘PRESSURE’ AND EFFECTS OF SOCIAL SITES (II)
Continuing from what I spoke about in my previous post about social sites, I would like to add some more things mostly based on what I have seen recently.. I really do think that there is a huge amount of pressure on social sites, causing people to act differently from how they would usually act in reality. It’s a shame that such networks can be soo negative to an extent were people begin to lose their identities and what they believe in, just so that they can have ‘social status’ Is this life???? Has it come to that???
At the beginning Instagram was simply a phone app where you could upload nice pictures and like other peoples pictures they post and keep it going from there. But all that began to change and Instagram became Thirstgram where most black women on it lost their self worth and began posting half naked/nude pictures on there all for likes and comments probably to boost their ego. It is really sad to see the thirst and attention seeking behaviour portrayed, it is all just wrong even with people posting numbers and all. It has just got out of hand to the extent where some are not revealing their true identities, they’re deceiving others using the filters and adding photoshop pictures to enhance themselves.
Look for a woman to go out of her way to pose in such degrading ways, to get attention for comments and likes shows the extent to which there must be self belonging on these social apps. If you as a black woman can put it all on show for men to look at and comment what does this really say about you? Its far from good and shows no class and respect for yourself or your body. Ladies you can be equally beautiful fully clothed and a man with good intentions will respect that. But don’t act the way you do on social apps like this and expect to be treated like a queen or spoken to as a woman of class, it won’t happen.
You allow men to treat you that way because of what you give out, thats what they act on. If really you want to be treated right you will know how to act to get that treatment.
Men too, to some extent can be equally to blame, you are the same ones complaining there aren’t enough good women around or that there are too many hoes. BUT do you realise that you also encourage such behaviour? You give these females the impression that you like how they are, you like it and so with that attention do you think those females who act that way will receive such attention and stop acting the way they do? Don’t think so if many of you didn’t entertain this behaviour from women who should know their worth and dress appropriately then maybe they could have somehow changed to suit what it is you are looking for.
But to the men this applies to, you need to stop labelling us all as easy, thirsty gold diggers, because in case you have not noticed not all of us act this way, there are still some of us who work hard, dress well, respect and love ourselves enough to know how a woman of class and substance with a body of the temple of God should act. With good women especially, we would one day want to be mothers and so we know that whatever we do the consequences will follow us into the future, and many generations to come should be able to learn from what we did and the foundation we built for them.
EVERY ACTION HAS A CONSEQUENCE… REMEMBER THAT YOU MAY BE LIVING THE LIFE NOW, DOING ALL THE WRONG THINGS YOU FEEL ARE ACCEPTABLE, BUT WHAT YOU SEEM TO FORGET IS THAT YOU HAVE NOT MADE IT TO YOUR FUTURE YET….
So to the ladies this applies to wearing revealing clothes, and exposing flesh on social sites is not only degrading your being and portraying you in a bad, low class way shown to a very wide audience it also puts the good guys of you, they will see you as someone who can act like this in the media not being a good partner or mother in the future. Because everything you do is shown to others, and they will form an impression of you and if it is bad can be very off putting to those who see it..
KNOW YOUR WORTH, RESPECT YOURSELF, ACT RIGHT, DONT SUCCUMB TO SOCIAL PRESSURE TO HAVE TO ACT IN A WAY THAT WILL MAKE OTHERS FORM BAD IMPRESSIONS ABOUT YOU.. A WOMAN SHOULD KNOW BETTER THAN THIS.. INSTAGRAM OR ANY OTHER SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORM IS NOT GOING TO HELP YOU IN ANYWAY SHAPE OR FORM WITH WHAT YOU DO IN REALITY. IT WILL ONLY CAUSE PEOPLE TO JUDGE AND LABEL YOU BASED ON WHAT YOU ALLOW THEM TO SEE IN A NEGATIVE WAY.
Twitter is much worse now as opposed to when we all first had it. To me Twitter is now a big thirst trap where men and women partake in sending explicit content and inappropriate messages to each other all in the name of wanting to get what they ‘need’.. Some women on there have let themselves go and feel no way to act easy and desperate, which in turn allows men to talk anyhow about women in a negative way based on how those women talk.
Women are now sending pictures of their private parts, asking outright to sleep with guys and exposing flesh in revealing pictures. They just don’t seem to have self worth, self love and crave for male attention which is given to them. Because to the men if the women are easy, then having their way with these women wont be hard work compared to more classy, fully clothed women who don’t interact for such. Like I always say you get what you give out. If you are easy you will attract easy if you know your worth and act with dignity and class you will attract those worthy to have a chance with you, each to their own.. We are all different at the end of the day.
But just because some females have let themselves go badly on social sites does not mean it is okay for the good women left to be labelled in the same way as them simply because we are all women. That is really unacceptable and weak minded if that is how people think.
If you are interested in women who act like that then do not come and attack all other women for what they do especially when you are the ones encouraging such behaviour. Its like a vicious cycle and until these women realise what theyre doing is wrong and men stop giving into it then complaining about finding a good woman. The change will be a great one indeed.
Same way with Keek, some have useful, insightful things to share but others are just as usual using the social platform for the wrong reasons. Its quite irritating and sad to see that social media has changed over time and that most of the people who use it, don’t use it for good means.
I will leave it there for now, thanks for reading and remember these are my opinions I share with you all, some may agree some may not. But we are all entitled to one..
GOD BLESS YOU ALL