Blame is to assign a fault or wrong to someone for something that has happened to you at some point in your life. Either to the person who caused it, or someone who has crossed your path after the incident happened and may have similar qualities to the person who wronged you or just reminds you of what happened. There are various reasons for why men and women choose to play the blame game, passing on the responsibility for a wrong(s) initially from temporary feelings of upset and anger.


Women and men tend to point the finger and blame THE WHOLE of the opposite sex when they go through a bad time with ONE or usually a few of them. They start building walls, getting defensive from that moment on to avoid getting close to others again. The blame is like a comfort blanket to them, to men and women who show interest to them. Because they have been hurt before, the last thing they want is to let all their guards down again for what they think will repeat itself.

In one time in our lives we can all say we have been hurt or betrayed by that one person or few people who we thought would never hurt us. But it just goes to show that the human mind and actions can never be understood or turns out how we hope it would be. Trust no man, trust no woman but you can trust God. Humans can deceive you, hurt you, turn their back on you once they have what they want whether material things or not, deny you and just do things you would never want done to you. But you cannot control human behaviour around us like a toy car and a remote control it is impossible.

But you can look at your actions and try to see why you attract the people you do, and how you can help yourself in the future to avoid the same things happening. Some might say but why should I do that? After all they messed up not me.. Well yes they messed up but if you kept attracting that kind then trying to look within at how you act and what you allow from your side may make some difference, compared to before. You will know how to act even better than before if that needs to change, and you will be in control of what you will stand for and before you feel something isn’t going right can leave. You live and you learn as you go along.

Every man and every woman will by now know what it is that they want in a partner, what they don’t want and what they can do to become better people. So rather than continue to play the ‘blame game’ why not work on overcoming what happened to you before, to become a better person, commit it all in prayer (Very important) and you will see that the realisation of accepting the past and other peoples mistakes will no longer weigh you down, to block the good, genuine people from locating you.


When I look at the things that happen with male friends and other males, I can see the ones who had been hurt in the past by that someone or a few women, to the extent where it has left a negative effect on them and so every woman they cross paths with now are all the same and will probably do the same things they went through in the past. They label all women in the same category and vow against settling down. They would rather prefer to link different females have fun and then it’s onto the next without catching feelings in anyway.

This way they are in control of it all and how things happen, they will not let their emotional guard down and everything they do is based on temporary pleasures, the lust game with benefits OR friends with benefits. They really do not care about the aftermath, to them they are having fun and the female(s) from the past are to blame for their actions and reasoning.

Okay we may not understand the hurt and anger they hold inside (Because really we don’t due to two things.. Most guys don’t tend to have heart to heart talks to say how they feel about past issues and two some are very good at hiding it behind the ‘macho’ exterior. To let their guard down they may be seen as weak and insecure and to a guy that is the last thing they would want to be seen as… They have a reputation to live up to and don’t have time for what they call acting like a weak female talking about feelings.. However a female doesn’t have to be weak to talk about her feelings, it is a natural thing to do afterall.

There are a few guys like this I knew fairly well before, with one of them in the past he was a bad guy and did change for some time to be good, and then met someone who turned out to be an easy girl who cheated on him various times even with family members. Now he was oblivious to all this until a time came when words were getting spread about the girl and he eventually found out for himself, that the girl he thought was good and faithful was actually close to a hoe.

He lost all faith and trust in women because of this, that is understandable. But how you deal with it is what will make or break you, sadly he chose the wrong way to deal with it and did exactly what the woman did to him, and he went and slept around breaking hearts and being care free with no remorse. Asked why he acts this way he would usually say women are not to be trusted and do not deserve my respect or faithfulness, so I just sleep around once I get what I want I’m onto the next. I fully don’t support such action to me it’s just pathetic and stupid to be honest.

Because she wasn’t right to act the way she did when she was in the relationship, or even out of it but he should also know better to work on getting over it and moving on, not stooping down to that low level of loosing dignity and self respect because of what one woman did. It is said what you do to others will always come back to you, you treat others bad and the same will be done to you. It’s a cycle, you can’t expect to act bad and attract good, so for the time they choose to live this way they are pushing away the good ones trying to locate them leaving more room for the bad ones to mess them up even more.

When you overcome bad actions done to you, with bad actions of your own it will not end well, you might think the temporary pleasure of doing what you’re doing will cover up the pain and anger, but there will come a time in your life where you will have to eventually face it all and when you do may decide to settle down with someone. Only thing if you have messed up a lot in the past and pushed away good potential partners, do you think they are still going to be available for when you decide that you are ready? Always try to think outside of the box and long term, not just in the current state you are in. Being blinded by negativity can be deadly and hard to get out of it. That is why once you know within yourself what you are doing is wrong try to better yourself before you realise that it is too late.

Not to say ALL guys are like this because there are some guys who have been treated wrong from past experiences, but instead of being equal with those actions they have drawn closer to God and worked on themselves. Using the past as a reminder that what happened then was just part of their past experiences to make them stronger and more aware, it wasn’t their time back then but that is not to say that the right one is not out there for them.  You have to go through the bad times to really appreciate what is coming. But if you do not appreciate everything that happens then how sure are you that you will be ready for the good?

Everyone is different anyway, some can deal with things and accept lives challenges whereas some deal with them by letting themselves go and making excuses for it. But sorry when you go around breaking hearts, using people whoever they may be that doesn’t make you a man, it just makes females aware of your true character and doesn’t let of good vibes about you. Yet those same men are the ones who will degrade woman and say there are no good ones left.. You see the vicious cycle most men go through, but don’t admit to it…



With women it’s quite different; women should be seen as good God fearing, virtuous women of God, with self respect, substance and the reflection of how they would be when they become a mother. The child you will carry in your womb should see you as their role model and love God too. But if you have let yourself go up until this age or beyond when will you be able to say that you want to change? Settle down? And have children? These are all part of the stages we face in life but if you are not ready from within to pass through those stages then what will you look back on and say your life was about?

Would you want to be seen as the woman who because she got hurt in past relationships, let herself go by using men for money, sleeping around, not fulfilling her destiny and making mistakes she will eventually look back on and wish she hadn’t made? Because that is what usually happens with people who make bad choices, they are the ones who will look back and question why they didn’t know and do better when they had the chance to, but instead are looking BACK with deep regret. Do not be one of those women, it will not end well for you, God sees everything, and actions have consequences and you still have a chance NOW to make a turnaround leading to a COMPLETE positive change. The choice is yours…

Or you can be that God fearing, virtuous woman of faith and courage, who even though she may have been hurt in the past stood firm in Christ and let God help her through it all. With God you have peace and the strength to overcome all obstacles and bad experiences others put you through. It will help you to become stronger, wiser and disciplined, you will know right from wrong and become even better daily to attract the good in people.

You will look back and be a living testimony that with God all things are possible, people may have tried to break you, put you down and make you lose focus of God. But not to worry God sees it all He counts the tears, He feels your pains and comforts you in your times of troubles. You are not alone God is always there with you and will see you through it all. Your life will turn out well and there will be no such thing as regrets and wasted efforts and time wasted. Because with God everything and everyone who should locate you will do and you will experience goodness and peace.

It is sad to see how some females act in society especially on social sites, one thing you should remember is that a pretty face will change, a nice body too will change but it’s the personality that stays and is what makes a person not their looks. So those who are half naked on social sites can still look attractive covered up, value yourself and have some self respect to know better, for good to locate you. A woman’s body should be treated as the temple of God not a playground for others to take advantage. It should only be shown to the man you love, your partner/ husband NOT for the whole world to see on the WORLD WIDE WEB.

Think about it this way, if a woman exposes her body on the internet/ pics/ web cam whatever way she uses would you still see her as the wife material?? Not many people may agree with that because a woman who can do that to a wide audience for all to see her body then what will make her special as opposed to a woman who covers up, respects herself, and knows better???

Nowadays it seems like it is a norm to be half naked online, girls well most want the attention the guys who support this behaviour give to them. But for all the wrong reasons, the lack of self respect won’t make a man respect you if you don’t respect yourself (It all starts from within remember, you get what you give out). If a guy really shows interest and wants to get to know you what is hidden should be left to his imagination. But if he sees you showing it all how can you think it will be for good reasons that he wants to talk to you??

The spirit of LUST is very much alive amongst this generation, where sexual relations are given more freely than love and commitment. Respect, loyalty, faithfulness all seem to be going down the drain… Sad isn’t it.. All because people crave attention and the easy way to get it lowering standards and self respect in the process.


Our generation from what I have seen, heard and not allowed myself to get involved in, is a generation of some lost individuals where some lack morals, values, self respect, prefer to move easy, bitter, spiteful, heartless individuals were some also don’t know God and so chose to live care free lives so long as they continuously get what they want. But like I said before all actions done now have consequences in your future.. You haven’t made it to your future yet!!!!!!


Remember these are my opinions along with what I have seen and somewhat experienced.


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