‘SINGLENESS’ a term that carries both positive and negative weight to some extent, but once it’s embraced and lived correctly can produce good fruit. On the flip side in society it tends to carry a stigma by others who see it as a bad thing, even though singlehood can actually a good thing.
We are all at the age where we will no longer entertain temporary relationships. I’m sure you can all relate to those family members or even friends who try to pressure you into getting into a relationship. They will say things like ‘Ohh you’re not getting any younger’ ‘But look at how old you are, in my days etc etc’ ‘So who is in the pipeline’ and things like that…
But what those people fail to realise is that by pressuring you into a relationship and or marriage leaves you to deal with the person and not them, and what is rushed will never work out. You will feel pressured get with the wrong one and even breed for them, before realising too late that your happiness became overshadowed, by the wrong things and the right things were never present from the start.
YOUR HAPPINESS IS IMPORTANT AND IF THAT ALONG WITH FOR EXAMPLE COMFORT, COMMUNICATION, TRUST AND HONESTY ARE MISSING FROM THE RELATIONSHIP IT WILL BE HARD TO MOVE FORWARD AND PROGRESS. ALSO THE MORE TIME YOU SPEND WITH THE WRONG ONE, THE MORE YOU PUSH AWAY THE RIGHT ONE (YOUR BOAZ OR EVEN YOUR RUTH. FOR THE MEN ALL THIS APPLIES TO YOU TOO).
Over some time now I have observed along with experiencing how different people are with those who are single and those who aren’t. But ALWAYS remember people are single for various reasons, some have been hurt, learnt from it and then with The Most High’s intervention choose to wait for their right time, to have the right person in a fulfilling relationship. Blessed by The Most High and not based on the rules of worldly relationships. A foundation in Christ set in a relationship is the best foundation any relationship can have. Once you take The Most high out of the equation things will crumble.
GODLY RELATIONSHIPS AND WORLDLY RELATIONSHIPS ARE DIFFERENT ON SOO MANY LEVELS. THERE’S A RELATIONSHIP WITH THE MOST HIGH AND THEN THERE’S A RELATIONSHIP IN THE WORLD BASED ON WORLDLY ACTIONS, ONE THAT EXCLUDES THE MOST HIGH FROM THE RELATIONSHIP.
Like I mentioned before being single is not a bad thing, once you are using the time wisely and keeping the Most High at the centre of your life. Time and time again people refer to being single as if it’s a bad thing but for the wrong reasons. As a woman especially, we are the most valuable assets with the capabilities to build a prosperous nation.
The Most High calls women to change and raise generations of women to come, women who possess self respect to not only value who they are, but recognize their worth and fulfil all HIS promises to HIS daughters. Once women are developed and ready, will have their noble Boaz locate them. They too will come together as one with a firm foundation built in Christ.
The wisdom to bare singlehood comes from the Most High, because when a Christian man or Christian woman is single rather than dwell on it and live a life centred on them. They will rather prepare themselves and serve in the Kingdom to do The Most High’s work. With patience all things are possible and will fall into place just as HE would want it, what we have to do is trust and believe in HIM to know best for us.
Genuine joy, happiness, growth and love comes from serving others, we are servants in Christ doing the Most High’s work. In turn working on ourselves to be even better as each blessed day passes. This way we are able to focus fully on the purposes in our lives for what HE called us to do.
As a Christian woman I have learnt many things, experienced a lot and also crossed paths with many different people from all walks of life. Yes of course we are all different but one common ground we all have as a lifelong commitment is to get married, start a family and raise them the right way, The Most High’s way in Christ. PROVERBS 22:6 ‘Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.’
THE MOST HIGH IS THE RESTORER OF YOUR SOUL. HE alone can restore your soul, for He alone is the lover of the soul. Whatever the reason may be for you being single HE can mend your past, strengthen you for the present and prepare you for the future. Relationships take your time, effort, commitment, trust, honesty and loyalty. But when it breaks down can leave you in some type of way for future relationships. You either withdraw as the effect of the end of previous relationships, or like many resort to having fun and not taking it seriously. A friend once said to me, they had given their all in previous relationships and so had nothing left in them to give out again. So what would be the point of trying again now, they may as well have fun and chill.
Even though I could relate to some of what was said I didn’t agree with it fully. The relationships in the past have all been relationships people chose to get into, not The Most High. WE said they were the one due to emotions. So we took it upon ourselves to enter into the relationship with them. Now some may say well I involved The Most High in the relationship, with prayer etc. But consulting HIM after you have entered the relationship is a recipe for disaster. Because what excludes the Most High from the get go doesn’t always necessarily work out for the best.
At first you may not understand why the relationship ended, but you have to accept it and learn to move on from what wasn’t for you, to what The Most High has in store for you. Whether it was a breakdown in communication, trust issues, cheating, betrayal whatever it may be, HE will work on you and heal you but that is going to take time. Relationships are hard already but when they breakdown leaves an effect on you. How some deal with it as opposed to others is what you will end up attracting.
ONLY MOST HIGH CAN HEAL THE PAIN..
When you come out of a relationship it is important and wise to take a breather to have you time to work on you, learn from it, pray over it, and work on your patience to avoid attracting and getting with the same type of woman or type of guy again. When in a relationship it’s not just about you, but you and someone else, once the person is no longer a part of your life you have to adapt to the changes and allow yourself time to heal.
But if you rush into another one, the same mistakes you made before will not only get repeated, but you will keep getting the same results over and over again. Before you know it you’ve had soo many relationships, heartbreaks and no lessons learnt. Whilst you could have had you time to work on you to progress, you didn’t use the time wisely but rushed thinking each time they had potential to be the one. But still ended up unfulfilled and alone with only a void The Most High can fill.
It is really common sense, HE created us and knows who we will become, our lives are in HIS hands and He alone knows our tomorrow and also He alone knows who we are destined to be with. So why stick to the world and make your own decisions with worldly eyes, to only keep getting disappointed??? When you could be getting even closer to The Most High to work on you and see things clearly.
I don’t know about you, but I have made a personal vow to The Most High and in it involves my next relationship being my last, to lead on from a strong relationship in Christ to a blossoming, fulfilled marriage. Now in order for me to have this I have to:
- Give my all to the Most High
- Pray more
- Read the Bible more
- Work on my weak areas
- Learn from my mistakes and pray to overcome them
- Work on positivity and growing in Christ
- Set out what I want in the relationship to fulfil its purpose
- Set out what I want in my husband and pray over it
- Keep myself for him and him alone.
- To not expose my body to all men that show interest
- Take my eyes of wordly ways to continue to stay focused in Christ
These are just some of things I live by to ensure that the areas in my life that need to be worked on in singlehood will be worked on. Because once my Boaz comes it is no longer about just me but him too and what he wants and expects from me pre marriage and post marriage becoming his wife and mother of his children. My mindset is very positive and I have learnt from my past mistakes, it is all a process but Lord knows I’ve come a long way.
BECAUSE I DID NOT LET ANY GUYS DISTRACT ME FROM THE TRUTH,
I KNOW MY WORTH TO NOT SETTLE FOR LESS THAN I DESERVE,
GAVE MYSELF MY SPACE TO BE FREE TO WORK ON ME,
SERVING THE MOST HIGH DOING HIS WORK,
SHARING MY EXPERIENCES WITH OTHERS (SELF GROWTH)
As a woman especially, you have to know your worth and set boundaries and standards. You wouldn’t want to make the wrong choice based on lust and emotions only to breed for them then regret. Yes having children is a beautiful experience, but what sort of environment you are bringing the children into is what is important and how comfortable and suitable you are with the guy.
Your FAITH in the Most High will teach you to trust in HIM because He is consistent in everything He says and does. His ways will help you daily and draw you nearer to what you deserve not what you have to tolerate. In His timing He will give you what you need and when you need it. If HE feels you are not ready HE will not give it to you but continue to help prepare you. DONT hold onto anything or anyone that will try to ruin your preparation period cut them off and be patient, it will be worth it in the end.
One thing I say about women is that we are very sensitive but at times put ourselves in situations we could have easily avoided. Instead of some to run to our Father, will run into the arms of the guy who will say all the right things, then later find out that it was all an act of deception to get with you, but for the wrong reasons (far from genuine). NO GUY ON EARTH CAN SAVE YOU, SO BEING WITH THEM WILL ONLY CAUSE PAIN RATHER THAN DELIVERANCE FROM WHAT YOU NEED HELP FROM. MEN ARE NOT SAVIOURS TO SAVE YOU, BECAUSE THEY DO NOT HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO DO SO.
At times because of the attention they give, some can get carried away falling into fleshly desires and empty promises that come from guys. This is where the manipulation and trouble starts, leading to much heartbreak. No matter how awesome you may think the guy is, what he says to you etc. He cannot fill the void in your life that only the Most High can fill. Healing doesn’t come from men but the Most High and only HIM.
LIFE IS NOT EASY, IT MAY SEEM AS THOUGH YOU HAVE BEEN THROUGH IT ALL, BUT NEVER LET DESPERATION AND LONLINESS LEAD YOU INTO THE ARMS OF THE WRONG MAN. WHILST THE RIGHT ONE IS OUT THERE, WORKING ON HIMSELF TO FIND YOU. BUT TRUST IN THE LORD’S TIMING TO GIVE YOU THE BEST, NOT WHAT TEMPORARY EMOTIONS WILL LEAD YOU TO. THE MOST HIGH WANTS THE BEST FOR U, NOTHING LESS, REJOICE AND EMBRACE YOUR SINGLENESS. STAND PROUD OF HAVING STANDARDS AND WORK ON YOU. THE BEST WILL LOCATE YOU BECAUSE BY THEN YOU WILL BE MORE THAN PREPARED AND IN A GREAT POSITION OF BEING A PROVERBS 31 WOMAN.
SHARE ALL YOU WANT WITH OUR FATHER, DO NOT ALLOW THE SHOULDER OF A GUY BE YOUR RESTING PLACE FOR (SOME) TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOUR WEAKNESS. KEEP YOURSELF AND PRAY FOR THE MOST HIGH TO CONTINUE TO STRENGTHEN YOU, BECAUSE IT CAN BE DONE. NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE SAYS YOU ARE WORTHY AND WORTH THE WAIT.