PAIN(PART2)

(RELATIONSHIPS AND PAIN CONTINUED)…. 

Everyone wants to be happy in life, no one wants to endure pain and suffering, neither do they want to look back with regret. But in life pain is not avoidable and regrets may be felt within (pray to the Most high, to release such, never live with regrets). Everything and everyone that comes into your life will leave a vital lesson on what not to do or even what to do in the future.

 

AMOS 3:3:

Can two walk together, except they be agreed?

 

From a Christian perspective a relationship not only consists of TWO people together, but together with the Most High as their foundation. Where the Most High is absent things will not work. But if one is weak and the other is strong already that is a train wreck heading for more disaster. LIGHT and DARK cannot mix and they will not be exempt from punishment. You cannot be in a relationship filled with sin and then take communion with the Most High, unless you have genuinely repented for all your sins. Especially vowing to not do them again, because the more you sin and keep repenting is abusing the Most High’s trust and mocking Him.

 

Where there is no friendship there is no fellowship, Most High and man cannot walk together except they are agreed. Sin goes against the Most High and creates a divide between Him and yourself.

 

In a healthy, Christ like relationship you are to be on equal footing as in you are both to be on the same page with where the relationship is going and be able to listen to each other. But the breakdown in some relationships is that listening and communicating with each other, has become something of a struggle, and social sites and others tend to know your business out of anger. Rather than the two of you sitting down talking it over you ignore it and it gets worse.

 

That can only be avoided if both of you are focused on the Lord FIRST in order to make it work. Agree that the Most High will always be the centre of the relationship and that you are BOTH willing to practice what is written in the Word. IN EVERY HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP BOTH ARE NOT ONLY IN THE LIGHT BUT PUT THE MOST HIGH BEFORE EVERYTHING. THAT IS THE BIG DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WORLDLY RELATIONSHIPS AND THAT OF CHRISTIAN RELATIONSHIPS. ALSO THE HIGHER RATES OF DIVORCE IN THE WORLD AS OPPOSED TO IN THE KINGDOM OF THE MOST HIGH.

 

THE MOST HIGH’S WAY IS THE BEST WAY TO GET NOTHING BUT THE BEST, RATHER THAN TO CHOOSE GET HURT AND LIVE WITH BITTER EMOTIONS. BE PATIENT FOR YOUR BOAZ. DO NOT RUSH TO GET A FAKE COPY OF THE ORIGINAL BOAZ THE MOST HIGH IS PREPARING FOR YOU..

 

You may have thought he was the one for you, you cared for him and loved him and would have done anything for him. But things did not work out how YOU had planned.

 

Do not: be discouraged do not over think about what went wrong, do not shut others out, don’t take your anger out on the Most High definitely don’t do that. Do not label all men to be the same and do things you will later regret. Because we all know such behaviour is not of the Most high and with such comes consequences.

DO:  Pray, work on yourself to heal, partake in the work of the Most high, help others, keep busy doing all this, read the word more. Pray and work on negative thoughts consuming the mind and also to release all that held you down to move on to bigger and better. 

It is hard to deal with relationship break ups, but it is worse when it changes you for the bad. Instead of making you stronger to handle what is to come. He clearly wasn’t for you if all that came out of it was lukewarm behaviour and pain. Let him go and thank the Most High for saving you from what could have possibly destroyed you had you stayed in it longer.

 

IMPORTANT TIP: You see all the time you spend thinking about him, producing no results but just more pain and bitterness, don’t you think that if you tried to think about the Most High more and read more. That it would produce fruitful results as opposed to a battle of anger within? Include the most High in your life more, visit church, pray more and talk about Him more. Only a relationship with Him is worthy and will last. Do not let an old relationship(s) steal your joy it is not worth it at all. Let it be and let the Most High take over to work on you. 

1 CORINTHIANS 5:11 

‘But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat.’

 

Do not keep company with such people they will only affect your relationship with the Most High. The stumbling of the weak has no place with a Christian in a relationship. LIGHT AND DARK CANNOT MIX.

 

Ladies most times the man that you want is rather the man you should stay away from. Probably deep down you know they are not for you, so you hope and pray they will change and the Most High will accept them right? You help them try to change, and even go the extra mile to try to preach to them but all efforts don’t work. With situations like this one no one can change anyone and two the time you spend around the wrong one delays the time you could be spending around the right one (your Boaz who is out there working on himself for you alone). DO NOT COMPROMISE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH THE MOST HIGH DUE TO TEMPTATION!!

 

Do not be led by lies you are making yourself believe and what they are feeding you with too. It’s a poisonous situation to be in, get yourself out of it and work on you and your own life. LOOKING AT THEIR ACTIONS & BEHAVIOUR SHOULD BE ENOUGH FOR YOU TO KNOW THAT THEY ARENT FOR YOU AND NOT WHO THE MOST HIGH WILL WANT YOU TO BE AROUND.

 

We usually overlook things; the Most High is soo clear about. Because of what we feel we ignore it and then ‘regret’, not being patient in the first place. His word has guidelines set for what we should flee from that will cause us pain, and rather what to do that will save us from pain. The Bible is our manual/guidebook to help us to be the best women and men we can all be.

 

With the pain you are feeling, do not bring others down, as a way to make you feel better (false, temporary emotional security) because what you think is making them suffer, is actually making it worse for you to handle. You defile the Lord when you do that, BUT when you act in love and kindness helping others. You are not only helping with self growth but lifting yourself up to be the Lord’s witness for greatness. 

 

The Most High makes it clear how we are supposed to act, but doesn’t intentionally set out to punish us and limit us… NO! He doesn’t want us to get hurt and lays out clear instructions to have a strong, positive, life. Enhancing relationships with others, ourselves and most importantly the Most High, study His word, listen carefully and above all live by what you read in the word. Come what may, we all deserve to be happy and joyful daughters and sons of the Most High.

MY EXPERIENCE (WHAT LED ME TO MINISTRY)

As Ive already discussed my experience I will not go into major detail about it here, will just touch on some points.

 

It was a very painful experience, one I lived with regret for, for some time. Wishing two things that I had never met the guy and two for the pain to go fast, through it all I learnt that I am actually stronger than I thought. This is partly what helped me to get through it. It is a process and I’m almost there to be fully healed from it, praise be to the Most High.

 

Like a deep wound the whole experience cut deep but through it all the Most High was there to keep me in check, help me and comfort me. Vengeance is indeed for the Lord and seeking revenge is not in me to do. But to the one who caused all this I believe he will one day realise a lot and like they say what goes around comes around. How you treat others has a nasty way of having that boomerang effect to come back to you. People shouldn’t think they are untouchable, we are all human and no one is exempt. That is why it is always important to treat others how you would want to be treated.

 

Healing is a process and strength and wisdom comes from constant communication with the Most High. It won’t be an overnight thing but will get better with time and I am proof that, that is true.

Forgiveness is a really hard act to do, especially when the person has hurt you. In order for the Most high to forgive us we too have to forgive those who have hurt us. We cannot expect Him to forgive us when we don’t forgive others. It will just eat us up inside and cause more pain than good; you might think you are hurting them by not forgiving them, when in actual fact you are punishing yourself. The person who hurt you has probably moved on and doesn’t even care, yet you are punishing yourself day in day out. It really doesn’t have to be that way, make the right choice today to learn to forgive and be free from it all. Don’t allow those who have hurt you to keep you down, keep fighting and push for a better tomorrow.

NEGATIVES:

Too much trouble

Ulterior motives

Toxic behaviour

Draining

Inconsistent behaviour

LIGHT VS DARKNESS

Cheating

TRUST:

Most relationships fail because of lack of trust. For any healthy relationship to grow, trust should be one of the main factors laid out in the foundation. If it is absent, it makes things more difficult and unbearable to live with. With trust you are both able to share your secrets, inner thoughts, worries, fears and more because you feel comfortable enough with your partner to express it all.

It takes a lot of courage to be honest and open with the other person, but with a firm foundation it is possible. When it doesn’t happen that way and you get hurt, work on healing before you even think about moving on fully. What is worse is to get hurt, then move on straight away involving someone else. That will only make things more complicated and will not end well, because another becomes involved and also stands a chance of getting hurt in a big way.

 

Do not make it a habit to keep talking about the past, learn to let it go and focus on working on you and getting closer to the Most High. Feel life in you again, laugh be happy, put yourself first and trust in the Most High He will never let you down. As you choose to trust Him alone, He will work to give you better and what you rightfully deserve.

UNRESOLVED WOUNDS:

There is nothing that’s worse than being with someone who still has unresolved wounds from the past, they have not yet dealt with. Like punishment, it gets worse as the days go by. The frustration and negativity all comes out at different stages of the relationship and as much as you try to help and do your best, sometimes that’s actually not good enough, sadly. Festering wounds from your past is dangerous and needs to be dealt with, before you involve another person.

 

CLEANSE AND HEAL that is how the Most high would want you to deal with it, rather than ignore it thinking it will go away. Understand and remember that the Most High is always there for you, to help repair the broken pieces in our lives. We just need to go to Him and ask for the help in areas we are struggling with that we cannot handle alone. The second important step would be to forgive from the heart, acknowledge that there is a wound which needs to be taken care of and release all the negative energy. Lord knows it is tough, but we will be in bondage and not have freedom if we don’t forgive and let go. Bitterness has no room in our thoughts and shouldn’t be there.

 

DECISIONS MADE IN LIFE/ FAMILY PAIN

No matter what comes your way, with family and decisions you make never choose to remain bitter. At times family is the next best thing we have after the Most High to help us. Treat them with love and care and always be there for them.

 

With every decision made always be sure to consult the Most High about it, every decision made with the Most High is that step closer to your glorious destiny and more self growth. Do not deny yourself the privileges assigned to your life, blinded by temporary wrong emotions.

 

 

 PRAYER:

Dear Father,

Thank you for all that you have done for us, thank you for our lives, for strength, courage and wisdom to overcome all that comes our way. Father I do not know what these ladies and men are going through but I pray that you touch their hearts and heal them, bring happiness into their lives and no more sorrow. For those who may be struggling with their emotions Father you said there is nothing too hard for you to do and so please help them and guide their paths away from what might cause them harm. In the Mighty name of the Most High it is done and it shall be well.

Amen 

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