GETTING TO KNOW SOMEONE/PEOPLE…
I have chosen to write this post because I feel a lot of important things have lost meaning surrounding the issue of getting to know someone.. This generation has lost the sense of worth, integrity and loyalty and have made up rules guiding them instead of letting God guide them..You will see what I mean as I go on in this post..
Before it was enough to say I like that girl or I like that guy I want to get to know them and see if things can go further to be together. Now, not to say that doesn’t happen, but it’s rare to some extent, people want to have fun, explore ‘options’ the wrong way and justify sleeping around because of past heartbreaks. It becomes a vicious cycle were people are being used by insecure people feelings get involved and it goes around..
Where relationships should include two people happy together, it now includes the two people side dishes intervening and even friends trying to ruin things.. It all gets messy, things happen and people are back on the market if you like, planning to repeat the same messed up behaviour again. It’s very sad because a guy or woman who have been heartbroken by bad experiences may have the right one sent to them, to help them mend and show them happiness again. But because of the affect of the previous breakups more times than one, they change for the worse and in turn will miss the right one because of being held back by the past.
One important thing people in these type of situations need to remember is that, even thought they were heartbroken by past experiences by people who probably didn’t even deserve to be with them and sadly messed up, and made it a tough experience for them to face.. It really shouldn’t make it okay to still carry that baggage from the past, to influence your actions in the present and possibly future too.. Everyone is different, no two people are the same, what one person does is different to what other people do. There may be similar things done but everyone is different. Release the bad energy from the past and make room for good people and positivity to locate you.. Trust me it is worth it to act that way and with time you will realise this too. I just pray God Almighty will help those people heal to find true happiness again, let go of the pain and let it be a lesson and that is all.
With dating, I have never really been a fan of it, simply because of how it’s done, in my opinion when someone chooses to date they are placing their options on the table and going on dates with those they either like the look of, or may want to know to some extent. Some may say dating is pointless and doesn’t always lead anywhere, more or less like an open book with no ending and can be a waste of time. At the end of dating those men dating those women or those women dating those men may find that none of them really interested them and then what?
Now on the flip side with dating it has been known that a guy or a woman can date someone and see where it leads to if there is genuine interest on both sides, which may lead to something more. But with such it is always important to make it clear from the get go what it is you want and how you plan to go about doing things. Communication is very important and a sense of direction too. No point in just dating and wasting peoples times with no intention of taking it further if the chance came about. If you are not a serious person then think twice before wasting other people’s time, efforts and money they may want to invest in you.
When and if you chose to date, use the SPIRIT OF DISCERNMENT to separate the good from the bad, because not everyone who approaches you will be of good character with good intentions. Some may say once the person looks good I’m okay with it.. NO NO don’t be shallow and closed minded looks will eventually fade but their personality and relationship with God too is far more important. Go for someone who has way much more to offer than a tick box next to good looks on your list. Because realistically speaking once their attractiveness wears off you want to at least know there is a strong bond and great personality keeping you there..
One thing most people do, I’ve probably fallen victim of this in the past is comparing someone in the pipeline to someone from the past. Never do that because as obvious as it seems everyone is different, no two people are the same and everyone acts differently in different situations. You may find that, let’s say for example Mike from the past was good looking, but rude and lazy, whereas James in the present although not as good looking as the previous guy is hard working and has a heart for God.. Are you going to let him go simply because of his looks?? You’d be surprised how many people will actually say yes to this, sad but true..MORAL OF THIS IS, DONT COMPARE PEOPLE AND MISS OUT ON WHAT COULD HAVE THE POTENTIAL TO BE SOMETHING GREAT!!!!!
Ask questions and raise any queries you may have with them and just try to be open if you are interested make it clear. Times without number people have gone into such situations with eyes closed simply to just get the attention and feel fulfilled with that. But as they do that, the other person may be falling for them and they don’t even know it because they are blank to such and in it for all the wrong reasons..
So if you are one of the people who decide to date, tread with caution and have your eyes and ears wide open to what the other person has to offer and what they are looking to get out of it. Once all is out in the open you can then know for sure what to do.
With seeing someone, not far off from dating someone, one can say with this method two people who may not know a lot about each other decide together based on a mutual understanding to start seeing each other which has a chance to go further..
But what I hear and see in this generation is different people will say things like I am seeing this woman or this guy but its not serious just fun/ usually just for intimacy. It has lost its meaning and not everyone who says they’re seeing someone actually takes it far. Sometimes it’s based on lustful desires and with such action and no firm foundation they tend not to last.
That is why it is important to always know where you both stand and not just one taking the lead and the other one following. If the two can’t decide on where it is going, or if there are no genuine feelings then it is best to cut ties and move onto something more meaningful. Especially at this age if you don’t see a future with those crossing your path then it’s of no use to you or them for it to continue, just wasting time and pushing away the right one to locate you.